As I was seeking the Lord recently on the subject of my marriage stand I asked him to guide me and reveal things to me to help me continue in faith. I was led to remember my marriage vows. I can clearly remember saying the vows with the vicar presiding over us and blessing us. I have an old 'Book of Service' from 1980 which I thought may have the vows in which we had said to one another – I found it and searched for the 'Marriage Ceremony'. Sure enough there they were the exact vows I had said in black and white. After so many years of being apart from my covenant husband (28 years) you’d think I may have looked at the vows again in all that time but I never had. What I read sent shivers down my spine and quickly the tears began to fall when I recalled all the years we had lost and all the times we had broken those vows. It felt like a repentance in my heart even though i had felt i had already repented so many times. But this was fresh and very deep, a new and powerful feeling of sorrow and regret for myself for my husband who I have always loved and towards my God whom I had sinned against. I had truly meant the vows and truly meant to keep them but being an unbeliever at the time and very young and worldly it had just not been possible.... Here are the vows i said;
The vows you are about to take are to be made in the presence of God, who is judge of all and knows all the secrets of our hearts; therefore if either of you knows a reason why you may not lawfully marry, you must declare it now.
N, will you take N to be your husband? Will you love him, comfort him, honour and protect him, and, forsaking all others, be faithful to him as long as you both shall live? I, N , take you, N , to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward; for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part; according to God's holy law.
In the presence of God I make this vow. Heavenly Father, by your blessing let these rings be to N and N a symbol of unending love and faithfulness, to remind them of the vow and covenant which they have made this day through Jesus Christ our Lord.
I made solemn vows before God and to my husband that day – for better or worse, in sickness and in health, for as long as we both shall live. I cannot undo this, it’s a serious matter. Not only am I 'one flesh' with my husband until death separates us I am also answerable to God to keep my vows. Scripture tells us God places a high importance on keeping vows: Ecclesiastes 5:4 When you vow a vow to God, do not delay paying it, for he has no pleasure in fools. Numbers 30: 1-2 Moses spoke to the heads of the tribes of the people of Israel, saying, “This is what the Lord has commanded. If a man vows a vow to the Lord, or swears an oath to bind himself by a pledge, he shall not break his word. He shall do according to all that proceeds out of his mouth.
There are significant consequences that come to those who sin by breaking their marriage vows. When the men of Israel divorced their wives and married foreign wives, God made it clear that He would not accept their sacrifices. Why? “Because the LORD hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant. And did not he make one? … He hateth putting away [divorce] …”(Malachi 2:14–16).
I'm thankful to God that he's led me to understand the importance of keeping the vows I made that day. He led me to repent of my sin - to walk away from a second adulterous remarriage ( with 2 children) and to stand firm for my covenant marriage the rest of my days. I already knew from Scripture that I am being called to stand for my covenant marriage - but seeing these vows again and remembering I said them before God only re-iterates the importance of keeping them until either my husband dies or I do. This is for the Lord - even if my marriage is never reconciled. I Stand.
